There are things that can't be expressed, be it fixating it or literally expressing it.
I guess I've learned the hard way that you just can't put them into words - sometimes literally but sometimes metaphorically.
Sometimes, you feel sad but generally, you just don't know how to explain where the sadness is generated from.
Sometimes you feel sad about something but you just can't write about it (ironic because now I'm writing about sadness) because of the consequences. Whatever it is, you are just soaked in sorrow for God knows how many days and you force yourself to move on and on and on until you can't take it anymore. And then, you either die from depression or you get stronger. I hope I'm the latter case.
The jinx of the tiger has not receded yet. It's bad. Many people I know are not happy or facing some sort of trouble. It's like the gloom somehow penetrates and circulates the globe. I just am feeling the negativity, or is it just me and my superstitions that lead to a psychological effect that things are bad? Why am I sad? I guessed it's because of insecurities that I landed myself in this situation. I'll have to learn to get over it again.
So when I was in the midst of my sorrows, I almost fail to notice this hot dude who opened the door for me. Now I know he stays on the 5th floor (since we traveled up together on a lift ;P). Okay hot dudes are just nice to see lar haha...their effects only last awhile. Haha. Contrary to popular beliefs, I am not the girl who would want a hot bf or husband because I'm too freakin' insecure haha.
Anyway again....
I saw in the newspapers today the top scorer for SPM this year. Congrats to her! I mean she is obviously one brainy girl.
However, the story on her (her friends dubbed her the 'human photocopier')reminds me of the fact that our students are still memorizing instead of really trying to express through understanding. I guess it's the system. I mean, I won't deny that the fact that I survived my school days were due to memorizing notes and all. Sad but true. And I guess in many ways, I've learned that it's really not about that. It's not that we don't understand the text, but it's like we just have to memorize it.
Then there's another news article about the fact that results have once again improve this year. My GOD! Every year also improve. "Good" news. "Brilliant". So it's safe to say all our students, the next generation are getting smarter. Great great. I mean, I guess we're the only country that have an ascending graph when it comes to students' results. Every year it's going up and never really go down. I think we should be proud! Malaysia really can (Malaysia Boleh) when it comes to things like this.
Anyway to my Cousin Carmen...
Congrats girl. You did well. But if you feel that the world is unfair and that you feel you deserve better results, well, you have the right to. I know how it feels because I've been through one situation like this before and you know what, we will learn to get over it soon because seriously, the paper, though important, it is never really the core of things. Plus your results really is great and you will only do better. High-D for you soon.
So well, there goes another day. Great news is that today is a Friday!! So I'm going to have a great weekend (fingers crossed). Well we are all going to have a family gathering and all, so it could be fun while I try to chase off them sadness. Sigh...
Cheers people~
With Lotsa Love,
TammyC
Insecurities are killing me....
I really feel like Ugly Betty, just less confident and less great. Don't ask. Long story.
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