EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Things have been a bit hectic and overwhelming for me lately. 

I mean I know that it is really a blessing that I'm so busy with work because when I have things to do, then I'll have things to learn.

But with such workload, stress naturally becomes a huge part of my life because in case you didn't know, I'm even working in my head when I'm dreaming. What the hell, right?

It's hard even to find time to write and like I said in my previous post, I feel myself losing the ability to fixate my thoughts in the right expression of words. Gone were the days where I try to think of stringing humourous lines to entertain myself in my blog post (oh well, I presume that I'm the only one reading it anyway).  I guess my brain has gone into this mode in which it is so lazy to even function after a long day catering to clients at work.

No offense, but the thing about most clients is that they think that we function only to serve them alone, which sometimes is not true because we still have other clients whom we need to babysit. Oh well, again, that is what working is all about. Part of the fun I guess to deal with the pain in the arses. 

But I'm very grateful to have a chance to be part of the company I'm working in right now because I've learned so much from the job and the people there. I admit that I am not the best worker I wish I could be, which adds on to my stress because I really wish I can do better to contribute. Most of the times, I find myself making loads of careless mistakes, which I attribute to the stress, but I guess I should once again stop finding excuses.

Nevertheless my ultimate dream is to become a writer someday, and recently I don't know why but I very very very much want to be involved in travel writing, though I honestly don't travel enough. 

In pursuance of my dream, I'm still constantly trying to find out about freelance writing opportunities as well as any courses that can help me improve my writing skills as well as grammar. Seriously, I hate to admit it but my bag of grammatical errors can sometimes weigh as heavy as an elephant. 

So fate had led me to finding out about this writing course, which is going to occupy my Sunday afternoons for 2 months. 

Yesterday and today were the first two classes and I'm already enjoying them.

At first I thought I'm going to have to literally drag my heavy butt out the door of my house every Sunday for this workshop, but you know, it had been surprisingly easy for me and I'm already looking forward to next week's class. 

The workshop is organized by the Buddhist Gem Fellowship (BGF) and I somehow came across the workshop through the AWAM emailing list, through which I get loads of updates.

But I'm really glad to have been able to be part of this workshop because not only does it help me with writing tips and providing me a chance to meet people in the writing industry, it also enlightens me spiritually as the speakers are mostly Buddhists and relates some of their lessons with the teachings of Buddha, which is very very enlightening. I also get to meet so many different people there - a doctor, TARCians, and even nuns (and one is from Bhutan!).

Yesterday, I was privileged to be able to share Mr Thor Kah Hoong with about 20 other individuals for 4 hours. Just to give you brief intro of Mr Thor (if you don't already know), he is a freaking successful man in the writing industry as well as in theatre. He has experience in almost everything related to writing - be it proof-reading, ghost-writing or even publishing, he seems to know everything!! Thus, it was fantastic listening to his experiences - it's a real inspiration.

But today's speaker, Mr. Shivadas gave a speech that was an even bigger boost of inspiration - a real enlightenment.

As his introduction, he explained the process of creation - since our class is about creative writing.

There are 4 steps - thoughts, feeling, willing and action.

According to him, every creation originates from a source and a piece of writing stems from a writer's thoughts. A strong enough feeling and desire for the thoughts will then lead us to actions. He explained that we can have a million thoughts buzzing around our brains everyday but it is only the thoughts in which we have feelings for can trigger us to act upon it.

He said that the fact that we were all gathered there today means that we have the thoughts, topped up with the desire to develop our writing skills, to find out more about writing.

He added that when we keep thinking about something, things would somehow happen for us and we will find ourselves getting what we want. He then referred to the 'law of attraction' and then explains that everything happens for a reason. So we just need to be positive.

Okay, before this, I told my dad and basically everyone who cares that I do not believe in the 'law of attraction' because all this while, it has never worked for me. I keep thinking about things but I am always let down. So F 'law of attraction'.

However, after Mr. Shivadas's talk today, I'm actually kinda feeling the law of attraction.

And he reinstated in me something I forgot, neutralized by my recent negativity, and that is, everything happens for a reason. I used to always remember that, and it keeps me going and not blame circumstances but my rollercoaster ride was so bumpy for the past few months, that that philosophy slipped off. I started seeing things from a very negative point of view. I stopped believing in hopes and dreams, mainly residing in a hole of disappointment and complaints, forgetting how lucky I am.

Mr. Shivadas said that the things that we want will gravitate towards us if we think about it enough, with desire. Things will happen and will somehow lead us there. 

Come to think of it, how true. 

My mind dwells on being a writer and out of nowhere, I saw this email about a writing workshop. Circumstances led me to work in a PR firm, dealing with loads of media and journalists - meaning that I'll be able to build a network. And all of this doesn't happen because of nothing. It happens because I wanted to be a writer and search for writing related activities. It somehow all gels together and makes sense. You want something, you search for it...you think about it, you attract it. 

So if I put in more effort and work harder towards my dream with positivity, I guess in no time, I might be able to do what I love - meet people of various cultures, write and travel!

Of course it won't be easy to shove off all negativity (see, this sentence already shows negativity haha) but LET'S TRY!! I really believe that God or whoever's in-charged of shaping my path besides myself, has set out a beautiful path for me and I just need to see it and take it.

Previously, I'm bummed because I didn't get the journalist jobs that I want. I want to write in magazines and newspapers but no publications would let me in and so I don't have a chance. I don't understand why some people can be doing their dream job but not me. But I guess I've come to a realization that not everyone has it easy and like Mr. Shivadas said, everything is set out for a reason. I'm doing the things I do and meeting the people I meet for a reason. 

So I'm just going to continue praying and learn to enjoy my life journey and hopefully, I'll realize my dreams soon. By the way, Mr. Shivadas had also touched on religion earlier today and that was another interesting lecture he gave, which I think I should save for another day.  

I told Mr. Shivadas that he really had touched me with his words of wisdom earlier, because at this moment,when I'm in such a clueless stage of life, all he said was what I needed to help find see the path again. And again,in this blog, I'd like to once again thank him for the booster he gave me. I think I can actually call him Dr. Shivadas. Besides my dad, he is another person whose wisdom just inspires me.

Right now I shall go to bed with my spirits lifted while I try to avoid thinking about how I should embrace tomorrow. I have yet to fulfill some clients' demands. Argh kill me...

Anyway, good night people!

I think this picture of Martin Luther King is enough to demonstrate the power of dreams....

With Lotsa Love,

TammyC

Dreaming towards achieving my dreams