THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER, THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND

Why does it bother me so much when people wants to be a@#-es and hurt your feelings?

Why do I care so much what others think about me?

There are people who says things that are hurtful (whether on purpose or not), and sometimes, I just don't know why I can actually feel upset about it for days.

The other day, someone just screwed me when I had to consider something, and me, being an indecisive person had always have the tendency to think longer than I should.

I mean, what wrong did I do for actually voicing out my thoughts. Are we not in a free country anymore that I can't even think aloud as to whether or not I want to spend my money on something? I mean, why is it even wrong to think about whether or not I want a particular object especially when it involves money? Think before you spend, right? 

I'm actually over it, you see, but I'm just a bit sad at myself for letting things like these ruin my day.

You see, I think I have the right to think out loud when making decisions, but I let those who are insensitive ruin my day. Why?

And why do I even have to care what others have to say about me, when that person is unimportant? But I guess that I value the friendship, and thus I care, but perhaps, a good friend would never do anything or say anything like that to hurt you....

At times like these, I always consider myself lucky because I always have true friends to turn back to; friends who just accepts me for who I am and has always been politely honest with me. Being straightforward with your friend is a good quality, but how you say it determines what kind of person you are.

So, today I was out with a few buddies for dinner and suddenly, I'm again beginning to doubt my future, where I'm heading to, and what my life would turn out to be on the road ahead. There are people who feels that I'm a hypocrite, for staying in a job that I, well, never plan I would do, and for not chasing after my dream of being a writer.  

I realized that expecting people to understand how you are feeling or why you do the things you do is sometimes a complete waste of time and feeling sad over the fact that people just doesn't get you is quite stupid.

I do not need to explain to others why I'm doing the job I'm doing (well, one obvious reason is because it pays, duh!) or why I'm not doing the things that I said I would be doing. And I do not need to tolerate those who criticize me for my actions or the road I take because these are choices I made due to my circumstances, which frankly, only people who really cares about me, understands. I'm guilty as well because at one point, I judge people the way I hated others judging me, and now, I understand that, oh well, I don't fully get the situation that others are in and I have no rights to comment on how others live their life. 

I'm glad to say that I'm happy with how I'm living my life now and although there are times in which I am so clueless, I try never to lose sight of my dreams, and I will definitely try out things I want to do someday, somehow.

So ya, work...

There are good times; there are bad.

The most satisfying times are when you get complimented for achieving something or when getting a job done well. 

The most dilapidating moments are when you screw up so bad, you get screwed by your clients. Usually, it's due to my carelessness.

Well, life is never easy...sometimes (or everyday), I question my capabilities....

I hate that I'm so friggin careless....

But I guess I'm learning everything I can, and saving up as much as I can, so that one day, I can further my studies and land myself in a job where I love every aspect of , where facing the challenges is nothing but a breeze because I love it so much, that quitting is not even an option.

I toast to that day. I'm still driving down that road....

And finding my direction

And learning that difficulties and critics are just part and parcel of life

I'm going to learn to live with this quote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss

How true...

With Lotsa Love

TammyC