CHANGE

They say that it's difficult dealing with changes.

Oh so true.

These few days, I feel that I've been bombarded with changes...

Changes in life, the things and people around me...

I've come to realize again the sad truth that everything is only temporary, even good things.

Before we know it, the soft bed of roses decays into what's left if not only the thorny stems before the buds bloom again...God knows when.

When things turn rosy again, I always wish that it could last forever. But who am I kidding, it's a bed of roses, not a bed of fake roses.

Within a few weeks, I suddenly felt that I've lost everything of meaning to me.

Perhaps I've fail to look at the positive, but I feel that things were not the same again and there's a hollowness inside.

It wasn't as I thought it would be or was anymore...and it's hurting in a weird sorta insecure way.

I've felt alone before, like perhaps no one understands me anymore.

I feel that perhaps, my presence is not needed. I feel that perhaps, I could just go....

Run far away where no one knows me, so that I could just start again and this time, just observe.

I hate feeling like you have so many people around you, and yet, there's nobody.

I think I'm fooling myself if I believe that there's someone out there who gets me more than I get myself....how naive........

I feel like I've lost grasp on things I love most.

Perhaps that's why I feel companies slipping away and loneliness seeping in.

Maybe I've also changed in ways I don't know.

I guess memories are something that we try to hold on to but perhaps can never fully do.

It fades with time...only the best memories last, but we can never relive because it will never be the same again no matter what we tell ourselves.

It can be the same place, or same person, or same object...but it will never be the same time and definitely, won't be the same moment because every moment gives you a different feeling. You feel different mainly because of....

Change..........

Inevitable, change....

Like Carrie Underwood says in her song...

"This is my temporary home..."

One day, I'll find eternal happiness, and not loneliness.

For now, I'll do what I do best...

"Smile"

But then again, perhaps I've changed......

With Lotsa Love

TammyC