WHEN LIFE HAVE NO MEANING

When you have no drive anymore, you'll find yourself questioning your existence.

It is sad, don't you think?

I am only 24 and most of the time, I have nothing to live for.

I guess I am just lazy to move forward. 

I admire those who strives so hard to survive although they endured so much hardship.

I feel guilty because I am so blessed, and yet, I find no reason to move on each day.

I used to be passionate about life.

And then, I don't know what happened.

I've lost it.

I do not thirst for it anymore...and I don't know why.

Life to me now, is pretty meaningless and I don't know if I'd find that something to spark me again.

The people around me are just faces.

And people talks about people. I talk about people.

I love the people around me - but sometimes, just tired of the antics; heck, I'm even sick of myself.

All I want so bad is to be passionate about an idea, a job, something that is only purely work - and I do not have to care about anything.

Problem is - that's an idealism - something that won't happen.

We need to deal with people, we need to deal with shitty situations and shitty jobs.

So at the end of the day...that's life. And what do we get?

I shall continue to drift and let things fall into place.

I really hope that I find that fire again, because now, I'm slowly losing steam, and desperate for charcoal to light it up again.

10 more days to a new year - and I desperately hope that it brings with it new beginnings.

2011 hasn't been generally kind to me, to be honest. 

I just hope that 2012 is more gentle, and even if it really means the end of the world.

SMILE

A smile is a funny thing
It hides your sorrow
It cheers up others in a special way

A person who smiles could have a thousand sorrows
That no one knows
But it's okay
Because it brightens up other's day

People hide behind their smiles sometimes
You just don't know it
You take smiles for granted

But it is easier to smile,
But more comfortable to cry
If it's a smile I need to make myself feel better
I would smile more
I just need to feel better
And today,
It was really hard to pull a smile
And I ruined other's day
And I ruined mine

TAKING RISK IS NOT COOL!

Perhaps I am just not good enough.

That's why I will mess up my hair when I face difficulties. 

I have personal issues to overcome - one is to keep my cool when under stress. 

Seriously, I have this problem of not being able to think when things get rough. It is something that I tried learning to overcome, but I just can't.

If all my colleagues can keep their cool when they are stressed out, I think I'm the over-dramatic one who can't do it. It's all in my face.

Sometimes, it is really not the job. 

It's the feeling that you don't know the outcome - whether it is right or wrong.

It is the feeling of uncertainty that drives me nuts. 

I am never a risk taker and putting me in a position of risking others is a huge huge huge stress breaker for me.

Every campaign I run comes with a failure rate.

The 'failure' is what I am worried about. They say, fail to learn...but I am that kinda person who is most worried to fall, because I am those who are so worried about consequences. That's another reason why I can't be in business, besides the fact that I am not driven by money.

Maybe I am not good enough. That's why I have all these craziness in me. 

For now, maybe I am the only person who cries the most in the office and perhaps I'm the craziest.

Sometimes, I wish I could be as cool and level headed as the rest of the girls.

They just somehow knows what to do and how to do it and me? More often than not, clueless without a direction.

Fooling around is just a way to hide insecurities that I myself can't really describe.

Today started rough. 

Lack of sleep and tonnes of things to finish and worry about and not to mention, speculate. It is very difficult to not think the worst out of a situation, due to inexperience. I still feel that I am not good enough for my job....really...I am always clueless and I don't know what to do most of the time. 

Perhaps my position is to allow me to move and progress but I really am having difficulties feeling unworthy of the spot. You know what I mean?

And I just don't know who to tell...

My family doesn't really care much about what I do at work.

Perhaps to them, my job ain't even worth talking about, unlike my sis's profession which is regarded as 'professional'.

At home, no one really cares about my job and so, my passion for what I do can only be shared among colleagues. My venting - also among colleagues.

It is quite tiring sometimes. That's why I Facebook so much hahaha.

When I am sad, I seriously have no one to turn to at home, except perhaps my mum. 

Sometimes, now, it somehow feels that my colleagues and friends are my family. My family are just friends whom I visit every once a while. I can tell you that I am most myself with my friends and they get me even more than perhaps my family members. It could be wrong to say this...but it is true.

That's also the reason why that when I am sad, I find a friend to turn to instead.

I am 24. And I really hope I will grow and mature.

No matter how many times I tell myself that I need to change and be more cool when dealing with s***ty situations, I just can't. 

Tomorrow is a new day and even before it starts, I am already burdened by the client's meeting.

My fingers are crossed and I pray for the best.

TammyC

AS RANDOM AS IT GETS

It's almost 3AM and I am still awake for a reason.

My 6-hour nap served me well.

So besides contributing to my blog, and playing Tetris, can't think of much non-work related stuff to do.

I have loads of things to start on, but seriously, I do not want my Sunday (well, literally it is Monday) to be work related to be honest.

So below are my Sunday night/Monday morning musings before bed.

Bloggers...

Are no longer what bloggers originally are anymore. I find bloggers overly commercialized nowadays. What started off as a hobby, for those passionate about writing and sharing has now become a somewhat advertorial like platform; another tool for corporation to 'sell'. Nothing wrong with it but sometimes, it is just sad that so many things have become related to 'money'.

We are indirectly fed with information - that we sometimes do not know if it's for real, or just another paid write-up. But looking at it in another way, it is pretty cool to be able to just earn a living by just writing. Besides, you get to attend free events and do plenty cool stuff! 

Sunflower seeds...

 - are the best! I find myself very much addicted to eat because it is the best munching companion when  it comes to watching TV series. Right now, my top TV series are still Criminal Minds, Glee and my latest favourite - Revenge!

People...

Are very complex. Most of the time, I just enjoy their companionship but I do not enjoy having to work together when it is clear that we have nothing in common. Learning to deal with different people and handling the relations is by far the toughest thing to do. Sometimes, I just wish that I could run far far away and not have to deal with anyone, but just to spend time with the only one who shares a special bond with me in terms of understanding. 

All the time, the job is not hard - it's the people that is hard!

Life...

is something I don't understand and might not be able to understand till the day I die. I live everyday to the max but honestly, I still do not get the purpose of it. I just make sure that I am happy and the people around me are also happy, and maybe that's about it. 

Health...

To be honest, I am guilty of not taking care of myself well enough. I wish I could be more discipline but I just am not. I am now having a lot of wind due to stress and I seriously hope that my next problem won't be stomach ulcers. Yeeaaaaouch!!

Guys name Chris...

Are super hot. I think (or rather hope) my future husband's name starts from 'C'...at least a Chris or Cory hahaha because they are the hottest. Hot guys with "Chris" for names:

- Chris Richardson, Chris Evans, Christian Bale, Chris Pine, Kris Allen...

So "C" is the way to go!

Cory...

is a Taurus. Dang! I just found out that last week and I am heart-broken. For a person who believes in star signs, how can I not believe that a Leo and Taurus are incompatible!

But it is ok....If Marion (Scorpio) and her husband (Leo) can last, I might have a chance (that is if I meet Cory muahaha)

Work...

Another exciting week!! I am both thrilled about the countless meetings I have and also very much stressed out. I need a rejuvenating break because I can't take it anymore!!

Enough crap. I am hungry and I shall try to sleep now.

Love
TammyC

WHY AM I SO INTO FACEBOOK?

I realised that I spend every hour (if not minutes) of my day on the social platform known infamously as "Facebook". I could be one of the fanatically ones seriously, I'm not proud of it, but yes, I guess I am in a way addicted.


Believe me or not, I wasn't always hooked.
In fact, I was kinda anti-Facebook last time. I do not get it and I don't want to be part of it but signed up since a lot of my friends were on-board.  Nevertheless, I wasn't active then. 


I started getting hooked when I was in Liverpool.
This is because a community was built online.


When I was in Liverpool, all my friends were on Facebook, making comments, posting videos, discussing assignments; basically, Facebook got me closer to all my friends in Liverpool. We build a bond on Facebook...


This is what Facebook do basically.
Some may call Facebook a waste of time. 


To be honest, I personally feel that Facebook is more than that. To me it is a sharing platform, a place where we get to know friends better, friends that we don't know previously or friends that we've not been contacting. Through Facebook, I've met new people, get closer to people and also know a lot more stuff. 


And now Facebook is a place to build business too. In fact, part of my job involves Facebook too...


This social media platform is evolving and so, no one can blame anyone for being so connected (in other words, hooked) on Facebook!


So cheers to Facebook while it lasts!


TammyC

NO KIDDIN' ...HORMONES

It seriously bugs me that as I grow older and more 'womanly', hormones are getting in the way.

You know the thing they say about women and the time of the month...YEP, that is true! It is...And it is not something we can control. I seriously become more emotional when it comes to that time of the month and I am not DENYING it. Trust me...it's not cool, but I just have no choice.

With that, I apologise if I've ever offended anyone, or did anything wrong during that time of the month because seriously, with cramps, stomachace, backache, moodiness and all that bull crap...I just couldn't be happy and rational all day. But NO EXCUSES I know...Let me try and sort things out k? Give this 24 year old a chance...

I just realised that I've only had 9 postings this year.

It's pathetic actually, for someone who claims that she loves to write, 9 posts a year is NOT justifiable. Haha.

So let me write something just to make 10. 

Tthere were many instances where I felt like writing but I guess most of them were sad stories and complaints and I thought, why would I want to preserve all the bad and not the good? So I skipped fixating them and moved on, leaving most of the unhappy stories lingering on my mind instead. But perhaps I shouldn't be thinking so because bad experiences are great experiences and looking back, I believe I'd appreciate the fact that I've grown so much over the years.

What I've learned about myself this year is that I have quite a stubborn personality.

And if I don't think something is fair, I'd go all out to fight for it (most of the time I guess haha). I mean, I just can't take crap if it's ridiculous.

I had a few rows for the past week (partly due to hormones, seriously) and it really got me thinking. 

I wouldn't say that I am completely right but then again, I wouldn't agree that I am wrong too. 

I know that everyone is different and we have our own ways.

But to disregard other people's efforts because it's not done your way, it's simply ridiculous. If you are not on top of things, seriously, do not screw people. I seriously hate hypocrites and I hate people who are pots calling kettles black. Do not underestimate a job, no matter how small it is, because at the end of the day, you did not do it. If you did not do it, you have no right to say anything unless you've proven that you've done it before. Do not belittle people, and then make a fool out of yourself because of your own ignorance. 

People have feelings...at the end of the day, even if you don't care, people are hurting because of you. How would you feel if someone else treated someone you love the way you treated others? If you still don't care, then you are selfish. 

If God only created rationale, with no compassion, love and emotions...I don't think we'd be humans. We'd be robots. We'll be rigid with specific objectives to complete everyday. 

Don't rationalise tears, or emotions...people feel sad for a reason. You don't have to understand it...but don't mock it. 

I always believe that you treat people the way you want to be treated. I might not be the nicest person on Earth, I don't have a big heart...but at the end of the day, I treat people who deserves kindness with my heart because I believe that these are the people who deserves every bit of it because of their big heart. I envy them for their true kindness...you feel that they genuinely care for the people around them, and these people deserves all the greatness and happiness in life.

At the end of the day, I'm glad that we are different. It sets us apart. I don't want to be you. Simple as that. I'm proud I am not you. I'm proud that I have compassion and empathy. I have my own sets of weaknesses, yes, but I'm just glad that I can relate more to people.

My teacher once say, "If one person doesn't like me, I don't care, because I could be different from that person. But if most of the people don't like me, I'd need to check myself. "

I usually check myself all the time because no matter what, I want to be friendly, and I admit, I want to be likable because I just hate to be an ass or a jerk. Why ruin other people's day by being a jerk? Don't we love it when others treat us nicely?

If you don't care, no one can help you. 

I admit, you are unique in that way, and there will be people who admires people like you. God is fair. There's no right or wrong. He made you that way for a reason. And he made me, me for a reason. I believe the disagree I had happened for a reason.

I guess it is a relief in a way. I got half the things on my mind out.

If nothing changes, I'll continue to do what I do and will learn to respect although I disagree. It's not an easy thing to do, because I'm who I am - headstrong at times.

All in all, it's very interesting to see my own self change because 10 years ago, I wouldn't stand up for myself this way.

I've grown - I just need to learn to be more diplomatic and to control my emotions. 

I'm not as rational, but with the help of the people around me who has guided me and who loved me for who I am...I will survive I guess. :)

Thanks to those who have been there....

Everyone I've talked to...has indirectly gave me a different perspective of the incident and helped me through in different ways.

Thank you...

EXPRESSIONS @ 3AM

It's only words...

Sometimes, I wonder what's the line between venting and complaining and perhaps even bad-mouthing others.

To be honest, I do have a pretty loud and bitchy mouth sometimes, but, I never really meant every single word I said because most of the time, I was only influenced by emotions, causing my brain to not filter the words that fly out of my fat mouth.

It's bad, there's no excuse.

Every single time I set my mind to controlling my mouth, I tend to forgot and fall back to how I naturally am..LOUD, ANNOYING and a person who talks without thinking through.

I'm a person who wear my heart on my sleeves...I'm open about how I feel and I just say things as it is most of the time. I don't hide how I feel, unless necessary. I am brutally honest with people whom I like, and sometimes, too honest even with people I should not trust. 

At times, I really hate myself for being the person I am because I have so much to comment and say about others. I know I have my own weaknesses and yet, it's like my "job" to critic others, when it is not. I am just a critic! 

As I write this, I'm thinking about the times in which I've pointed out others' flaws and my dissatisfaction with them, when I guess I should learn to see the good in them, or if I can't, I should just keep my mouth zipped. 

I'd like to apologise, if in any way, my words have hurt anyone because I really did not mean to do it. My expressions were just a mere ventilation, to get things out of my chest due to frustrations. In the process, I might have went overboard with the choice and selection of words, and I guess, it has somehow crossed the borderline to the world of gossip. Gossip is interesting, but disastrous and unhealthy. 

Sometimes, there are certain characteristics in people that I might not be able to stand, and so, I just need to tell someone. I did not mean to judge or critic, because at the end of the day,  I still really love the people around me because they made me who I am today - whether for the better, or for worst. I'm not completely proud of who I am but I guess, I am not at all bad (I hope).

So sorry...And I will keep my mouth shut more often unless I'm playfully being sarcastic. :)

What do you get when you fall in love?

So ya...

Met up with a friend yesterday and again the question of whether or not I have a boyfriend pops up.

Last two weeks, my old high-school friend told me that another friend of mine is in a relationship. 

Last two weeks, I received a wedding invitation.

Just today, my colleague told me about her 'date' with a guy she kinda like.

So all these got me thinking...about, dang it...relationships!!! 

I'm 24 and I've been single all my life. Is there ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME?

AM I TOO BLOODY PICKY?! Hahahaha.

I guess I'm the kinda girl who wants to get it right the first time, and unless I'm pretty sure,  I don't think that I'd take any risks. 

There are two questions that people ALWAYS ASK ME...and yes, different people but the SAME QUESTIONS.

"Don't you ever want to date anyone?"

My answer is always simple, "I do when fates decide that I meet the right guy".

Yes, when I meet that person, I will, but definitely, at this stage of my life, I can guarantee that I won't just accept anyone just because I need to have a so-called 'boyfriend'. (Fast forward 10 years and when I'm still single, I might pull a different tale but let's leave that to future Tammy ya)

"Have you ever fallen in love with anyone before?/Is there any guy that have made your heart pound before?"

My answer is,  I don't know if I've fallen in love before because I can't define it.

As for guys that make my heart pound - 5! 

But I always wonder if a 'heart pound' means love or if it's just a mere crush that perhaps  will last 2 years maximum. 

Seriously, I've no feeling for any of my previous crushes anymore. They don't even know I have crushes on them, and I guess, I've also gotten over them and moved on. They are still my friends but I guess that's it.

There are mainly a few same problems with the dudes I crushed on: -

One (1): I just don't see how we can click/we are too different and so I don't see them as someone whom I can actually expressed myself to because I'm intimidated by them (so, they won't be my best friend and I want my guy to be my best friend :))

Two (2): They are always related to some other girls (rumoured to be dating, rumoured to have something on, or not available) 

Three (3): I always say stupid and RUDE things that might offend them and I can't help it. I just am quite nasty and COOL with the dudes I like. Most of the time, I won't initiate any conversation, unless they prompt it and I'll ride on that. If I'm friendly towards you, that means I totally DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. :)

Somehow though, I really wish that they would have just approached and asked me if we can start something new...The truth is, I won't mind taking a chance if it's a crush.

I seriously won't...

I am not the kinda girl who can approach...and that's my weakness.

Most of the guys who asked me directly or indirectly are not really my type and I feel so bad that I just need to tell them indirectly that it won't work. But seriously, most of them are too shy to really move forward anyway...so it's ok. I just take it that my hint was noted and I try to avoid them as much as I can, so that things are less awkward. 

But I am still very happy with the way things are now, with my friends, family and my job...sometimes, I guess I don't feel the need to have a 'guy', I just need a good friend. Nevertheless, I won't lie and say that I've never not feel lonely. But then I think again, you can still have a boyfriend and feel lonely. A boyfriend/husband is not a solution to loneliness...but rather, having people you love around you - be it friends or family. Then again, I guess there'll come to a point where you will just need to face it that your friends will have family members of their own and your family members will slowly leave you too. And it will be then that you'd wish that you have someone to call your own. *lightbulb* Adoption!

I'm stuck in a job that I love and don't mind working hours for.

I'm in a job where I can still have fun, balance my life. People say I work till late and all, but the truth is, I enjoy it.

The weirdest thing is, I love my office sometimes. I love to work there. I don't mind going back to the office sometimes even on weekends. It's like my home. I'm NUTZZ I know!! But I love it!

I love my job, most of the time, I also love my colleagues. So, I'm married to my job! That's the sad truth. But we all know this relationship won't last...and until it does, I guess, I might not have a real relationship. Sometimes, I don't really mind, but sometimes, I secretly wish I could have both.

Tammy

ONE WORD - BALI

Bali – Day 1

Any trip, as usual started off with excited. Bali for sure is exciting for me because it marked my first step into Indonesia, and Bali is one of the places on the globe that I told myself that I would visit, especially after watching and reading “Eat Pray Love”.

Well, unlike the book however, I’m not really here to seek ‘love’ but rather to indulge into the colours and cultures while relaxing.

Day one was not easy for me because I was unlucky enough to catch a flu bug 2 days before the trip. So I was basically praying hard and trying to maintain a ‘healthy’ body temperature by feeding myself with enough panadols and water.

The flight was not particularly pleasant, although I must admit how lucky I was to be seated next to a really sweet couple from Switzerland. Seeing both of them locking hands while watching movies melted my heart (excuse me for being such a nosy plane passenger). Although the rough air-ride, I was lucky that I survived the flight (imagine 3 hours of real torture due to nose-block and sinus). The stewardesses were not particularly helpful; I clearly looked desperate enough to die for water and yet, they somehow ‘disregarded’ me and took their own sweet time serving other food. Even the couple next to me felt annoyed with her service that they helped me call for their attention, which was also disregarded until I ‘died’ sitting due to the drought. (Okay, over dramatizing, but seriously, I was NOT in the best condition, with nose block and sore throat attacking me at the same time)

Once the plane leveled with the ground, my heart sang “Hallelujah”….seriously, “LAND!!!” and I could breathe with two nostrils again. By the time we reached the airport, my stomach signaled for food. Seriously, if you know me well enough, if my stomach signals for food, you know, I am desperately hungry. This is because, I SELDOM SAY I AM HUNGRY.

Finding a taxi without being cheated is also another challenge but I always leave these ‘hard’ work to others hahaha. Okay, I am evil, but heard of too many cooks spoil the soup? Ya…exactly! Once we got a cab, we rolled to Tune Hotel where I literally just dumped my luggage and went out to scout for food. Remember the signal from the stomach?

Most of the stuff nearby were pretty pricy but we found a great place for ‘penyet’ styled cooking which was pretty cheap. The servings were not huge, but it silent my stomach and I got back to the hotel a happy girl.

Our first meal in Bali - Penyets! :) 

Day one ended with a bath with no body shampoo (because I realized when I’m half naked that my liquids are at my friend’s suitcase, dang!). Brushed my teeth and forced myself to bed, anticipating the next day. To be honest, I really did not sleep well I guess because I was just tooooooooooooooo excited and my brain was filled with activities.

I guess my brain fully rested once the clock struck around 4am…zzzz….

Bali - DAY 2 & 3

“RINGGGGGG!!!!”

A tiny hand reaches out for the phone alarm. Small eyes saw the time “7.30 am”.

Awww that’s just great! Barely have enough sleep and it’s time to pop up.

My mind straightaway suggested to my body that I should skip breakfast and continue to snooze for another 10 mins.

10 minutes later…

Dang!! Have to force myself up. It’s pathetic how lazy and fat my bump is, even during vacations. But yes, I managed to drag myself to the bathroom which is literally, less than 30 centimeters away (hahaha that’s how small Tune Hotel is).

In merely 20 minutes, I washed up, took a warm bath and was up and about in the lobby waiting for the rest of the gang. Not a morning person, I accidentally made my infamous ‘sulky’ face (where I will pout my mouth just for fun at my colleagues) I have every morning in the office. Dang! When my friend asked me “Why are you sulking?”, I immediately remember how one of my colleagues asked me the same question once. Dang! I kinda miss work!

Bali adventure day 2 & 3 were fantastic.

We went to all the famous tourist spots and there were all amazing. I shall sum up everything I vividly remember about Bali in a few sections.

Sunsets:

I understand now why people choose Bali for a romantic getaway because seriously, what can be more romantic than watching the sunset with your partner.

But the sunsets are amazingly breathtaking and it’s so beautiful that I don’t even mind watching the sunsets myself.

The sunset that I love the most is the one I saw at Uluwatu Temple and by Kuta Beach. The sunset in Jimbaran, to be honest is overrated. It was beautiful, but I guess not really worth paying for (if we were to have our seafood there).

Monkeys

My quiet contemplation time by the sunset at Uluwatu was seriously disruption by one naughty and violent monkey who literally steals and rapes. Hahahaha.

I found a great spot with a great view to enjoy my sunset and suddenly I heard screaming and the next thing I know I saw a monkey holding a cap and bearing his fangs, showing off to the crowd. Then he climbed on another monkey and literally raped her. Seriously, that is one of the MOST DISGUSTING THING I’ve ever seen in my life.

We discovered a new sense of fear that day – monkeys. They have the ability to do a lot of scary things and the last thing I want is my bag to be snatched by a monkey. Because then, you can only blame yourself for being dumber than a monkey. I was really protective of my bag and my phone especially, but I still managed to capture a few awesome sunset shots with the phone camera. Awesome!

Lesson learned: Monkeys are scary and we scratched out “Monkey Forest” from our list of tourist destination planned for the next day.

Jammed, narrow and winding roads

Seriously, if you think Malaysia traffic is bad….try Bali.

Drivers are “forced” to drive recklessly due to the road conditions. Imagine literally overtaking other cars in a narrow and winding road. NOT COOL! In Malaysia, that would have been a great way to die.

And any driver driving like how our driver drove in Malaysia would have been ‘honked’ till the next century. It was a scary ride at first but I somehow got used to it after 3 hours. The people there are so understanding, that they willingly make way for your car and they are ‘actually ok with drivers overtaking them with all sorts of driving and maneuvering techniques,  

Oh did I mention these narrow lanes are also friggin’ dark and scary. In Malaysia, these lanes would be a definite ‘no-no’ for ladies like me at night. So I admit that I was pretty scared while walking through those lanes because I was really worried that someone would just snatch my bag. Nevertheless, I guess the people in Bali are a bit more ‘controlled’ and the place is definitely much safer in a sense.

Food (Bakso, nasi padang, nasi campur, babi guling)

Pig/Pork Roll a.k.a. Babi Guling

Bakso

I wasn’t crazy about the food in Bali although they tasted good. I guess again, it’s my personal preference – I’m too westernized when it comes to food and I tend not to dig food that comes with rice.


Thus, I really love the delicious Pork Chop and Tuna Steak I had on the 2nd night. Too amazing. :)

Nasi campur was really good although from the looks of it , you probably won’t think so. However, I particularly enjoy the Bakso (because it reminds me a lot of my favourite beef noodles back in Malaysia). I did not eat much of those though, because I sort of promised myself to not eat beef for 6 months after I lost my second phone in the month of August. Which will lead me to my next story on Day 4…I lost my phone, AGAIN!

Bali – Day 4 & 5

On the morning of Day 4, I woke up excited about my massage but things took a turn after my visit to the money changer. I remember taking out my phone to calculate the rates and when the dude was not willing to change my RM 60 into Rupiahs, I remember sliding my phone and then….

Before I knew it, I lost my second phone in the month of August 2011. The first one was an iPhone!

So my massage wasn’t that great because my mind was too troubled with the fact that I’ve once again disappoint myself and everyone by losing my phone. Nevertheless, the masseuse was really good and the massage would be even more comfortable if  not because I can’t relax my mind.

At the spa

Towards night, I guess my mind was obsessed about going online because I wanted to share with the world back home about how sad I was. And of course, check emails!

We found McCafe, seriously the most awesome place to hang out in Kuta. I just love sitting on one of those seats facing the sea, and just going through my emails. The best work experience ever!

So Day 5 was dedicated to McCafe, online and the beach. Seriously, the best way to relax is to really just sit by the beach and DO NOTHING, but just accompanied by some good music blasting from my headphones. Or maybe exchange few short conversations with your friends. That is life man! I could live there forever. Everything I need is there – internet, music, the beach, hot dudes…ya…all checked!

I'm so going back to Bali again next year (or maybe the next haha, depending on my financial capabilities).

The place is too beautiful and amazing to not visit again. 

There were good and bad memories during this trip but I'm pretty sure that after the years, I'll only remember all the good :)


The trip back to Malaysia was awesome because it was a blur, mainly because I slept through the whole journey. Life was awesome then.


Til the next Update! :)


ps: Will try to be more hardworking


With lotsa Love
TammyC

LITERALLY ON THE ROAD TO MALACCA

1st of May, and it was a long weekend because we had an extra Labour Day holiday.

My friend, King Kong and I planned the trip 2 weeks back I think but as the day draws closer, I was sooooo friggin' tired that I suggested that we call it off! Two days of rest can do A LOT in terms of energy replenishing.

But I'm glad that King Kong got angry with me (because she wanted to try her layered cake) and 'forced' me to get my lazy butt off the bed and do something exciting.

So that beautiful morning, I chirped up and embraced the highway towards Malacca.

The journey towards Malacca saw me chiming along the rhythms of my favourite songs, and not forgetting my infamous driving dances that can be pretty embarrassing for those around me, but I've learned to say "who cares" haha. I just love to drive and move my body at the same time.

All went on smoothly until we hit a jam at the exit towards Malacca.

Dang! Our fears that Malacca would be jam-packed on public holidays had just materialised. So the Kong and I were stuck at the exit, all the way to the toll. The traffic condition continued to be a spoil-sport after the toll as we were moving at the speed of a turtle, and my hyper-activeness and dance moves died after 30 minutes in the jam. Way to go!

After crawling our way towards town, I gave up driving and suggested we park our car in the outskirts of town instead. At that point, I have faith that I can walk faster than cars, yes, I am SUPERWOMAN. And I was right.

King Kong and I 'dumped' the car on an empty land somewhere in the middle of nowhere and we snapped photos of the surrounding shop lots so that we can find the car (or at least, someone else can find it) later.

This was where we parked

Then we put our feet to work.

Walking as swiftly as superwoman, we glide across the sides of the road, passing by all the cars that are lining up on the road. 

I was busy snapping pictures of the town along the way, while King Kong was the tour guide who was frantically searching for Jonker Street so that we can have our much anticipated Laksa for lunch. I feel bad because King Kong is always the one doing all the hard work, while I practically don't care about finding my way because...oh well, I am always the kind who likes to go wherever the wind takes me haha. So in Malacca, I just go wherever the Kong takes me. :)

But Kong is good...she found Jonker Street after she asked directions from a dude who she described as "has a decent and trustworthy look".

Jonker Street!

I've heard loads about it but it's been years since I visited Malacca and to be honest, I have the vaguest memories on how the city looks like. So there I was, in the middle of Jonker Street, looking for Laksa. I saw a line of hungry people in front of the Chicken Rice balls shop....I'm too hungry to wait so I bid farewell to the rice balls and headed straight behind King Kong to the Laksa shop, excitingly anticipating the sweet and sour spicy taste of one of my favourite local delights. In my mind, I kept thinking that "THIS LAKSA HAD BETTER BE THE BEST AND AWESOMEST ONE I'VE TASTED BECAUSE I'D LITERALLY WALKED MILES FOR IT!"

The line for The Chicken Rice Balls

As we walk towards the shop, it started drizzling. 

King Kong volunteered to line up for the Laksa, while I am in-charged of sauna-ing myself inside the shop and find a table. 

So if there's a split-screen to describe this screen, you'd see King Kong lining up in the rain, with a dude holding an umbrella and chatting with her, while I'm inside standing up, playing Angry Birds, while waiting for a family to finish up their meals so that I can grab their table.

Timing was awesome because once my butt touches the chair, I saw King Kong with two bowls of Laksa, walking in.

AWESOME!

We chowed down the noodles and I bought us cendol! 

So was the Laksa worth the extra mile? Yes!

After our Laksa, we headed to our next stop - Nadeje Cake House for the layered cake that Kong had been craving and basically, it was Kong's main reason for the trip.

We got a bit lost at first, trying to locate the shop and it was victory for us when we managed to find it. But our spirits were hampered once again when we understand from the shop that their cakes are all sold out and there were more than 50 people waiting for more cakes. 

Disappointed and tired, the almost dead King Kong and I proceeded to leave when another miracle happened. THE CAKES ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again, we quickly get ourselves in line for a taste of this infamous layered cake. The two girls in front of me had this exaggerated  review of the cakes...telling each other how great the cakes are and how they can finish one whole cake by themselves. "Excuse me?"

I hear myself saying once again "THIS LAYERED CAKE HAD BETTER BE THE BEST AND AWESOMEST ONE I'VE TASTED BECAUSE I'D LITERALLY WALKED EXTRA MILES TO SEARCH FOR IT!

So it was finally us at the counter purchasing the cakes and although there were limited cakes to go around, we got ourselves two slices - one chocolate and one original.

The shop was so packed that we had to eat the cake somewhere else and so we went to Starbucks so that I could have my Frappuccino to go with the cake. Starbucks was also packed with homo sapiens, but I guess it was a lot better than the cake house. At least I could breathe there. In a couple of minutes, we found ourselves a spot and enjoyed a short tea break before we tried to figure out how to get back to our cars.

The layered cake was really good and I guess I know why people are crazy over it. But if you ask me, I would not go through THAT MUCH just for the cake. It wasn't overrated, but I guess I am just not the type who would swim through a river full of crocodiles just to get a taste of sweet.

Yes, the cakes were good. But make sure you pre-order it so that you don't end up lining up like us fools haha...

At around 6pm, we started mapping our way back to our car. If we were iPhones, I guess our energy level would be around 18%, so we decided to scrap off the idea of WALKING BACK TOWARDS THE CAR. But the challenge was getting a cab because there was none who would stop to greet us, let alone pick us up and ferry us back to our starting point. So we dragged ourselves to the nearest hotel and asked if they could help get us a cab. The nice hotel staffs contacted the taxi service but told us that the taxi driver is stuck in a jam and so we would need to wait.

I seized the opportunity to take a quick nap at the hotel lobby. Yep, I am not sure if I should be impressed with myself or not, but I realised that since I started working, I have developed the ability to sleep under whatever circumstances, and basically it doesn't really matter where I am.

So I told Kong to wake me up once the cab is here and so as I doze off, she busied herself with her iPhone. When the cab came, we hopped on it and we were lucky to find the car safe and sound. :)

King Kong did not waste any time during my nap as she was busy editing a photo of me sleeping on her iPhone. What the heck!

The journey to Malacca ended on a high for me I had a blast although it was tiring. 

No regrets at all! I'm so glad I went because the trip is another great addition to the journey I called my life. :)

"Trippin'" with one of your good buddies is always the best!

P/S:

It's been TWO MONTHS!

TWO WHOLE MONTHS since I last contributed in this space of mind.

What the heck! 

Life has been awesome and crappy at the same time.

Trying to let my passion flow through my veins again, I did some traveling and I'm so excited that I finally have time to write about my trips. :)

Next up: Singapore trip!

With Lotsa Love,

TammyC