NO KIDDIN' ...HORMONES

It seriously bugs me that as I grow older and more 'womanly', hormones are getting in the way.

You know the thing they say about women and the time of the month...YEP, that is true! It is...And it is not something we can control. I seriously become more emotional when it comes to that time of the month and I am not DENYING it. Trust me...it's not cool, but I just have no choice.

With that, I apologise if I've ever offended anyone, or did anything wrong during that time of the month because seriously, with cramps, stomachace, backache, moodiness and all that bull crap...I just couldn't be happy and rational all day. But NO EXCUSES I know...Let me try and sort things out k? Give this 24 year old a chance...

I just realised that I've only had 9 postings this year.

It's pathetic actually, for someone who claims that she loves to write, 9 posts a year is NOT justifiable. Haha.

So let me write something just to make 10. 

Tthere were many instances where I felt like writing but I guess most of them were sad stories and complaints and I thought, why would I want to preserve all the bad and not the good? So I skipped fixating them and moved on, leaving most of the unhappy stories lingering on my mind instead. But perhaps I shouldn't be thinking so because bad experiences are great experiences and looking back, I believe I'd appreciate the fact that I've grown so much over the years.

What I've learned about myself this year is that I have quite a stubborn personality.

And if I don't think something is fair, I'd go all out to fight for it (most of the time I guess haha). I mean, I just can't take crap if it's ridiculous.

I had a few rows for the past week (partly due to hormones, seriously) and it really got me thinking. 

I wouldn't say that I am completely right but then again, I wouldn't agree that I am wrong too. 

I know that everyone is different and we have our own ways.

But to disregard other people's efforts because it's not done your way, it's simply ridiculous. If you are not on top of things, seriously, do not screw people. I seriously hate hypocrites and I hate people who are pots calling kettles black. Do not underestimate a job, no matter how small it is, because at the end of the day, you did not do it. If you did not do it, you have no right to say anything unless you've proven that you've done it before. Do not belittle people, and then make a fool out of yourself because of your own ignorance. 

People have feelings...at the end of the day, even if you don't care, people are hurting because of you. How would you feel if someone else treated someone you love the way you treated others? If you still don't care, then you are selfish. 

If God only created rationale, with no compassion, love and emotions...I don't think we'd be humans. We'd be robots. We'll be rigid with specific objectives to complete everyday. 

Don't rationalise tears, or emotions...people feel sad for a reason. You don't have to understand it...but don't mock it. 

I always believe that you treat people the way you want to be treated. I might not be the nicest person on Earth, I don't have a big heart...but at the end of the day, I treat people who deserves kindness with my heart because I believe that these are the people who deserves every bit of it because of their big heart. I envy them for their true kindness...you feel that they genuinely care for the people around them, and these people deserves all the greatness and happiness in life.

At the end of the day, I'm glad that we are different. It sets us apart. I don't want to be you. Simple as that. I'm proud I am not you. I'm proud that I have compassion and empathy. I have my own sets of weaknesses, yes, but I'm just glad that I can relate more to people.

My teacher once say, "If one person doesn't like me, I don't care, because I could be different from that person. But if most of the people don't like me, I'd need to check myself. "

I usually check myself all the time because no matter what, I want to be friendly, and I admit, I want to be likable because I just hate to be an ass or a jerk. Why ruin other people's day by being a jerk? Don't we love it when others treat us nicely?

If you don't care, no one can help you. 

I admit, you are unique in that way, and there will be people who admires people like you. God is fair. There's no right or wrong. He made you that way for a reason. And he made me, me for a reason. I believe the disagree I had happened for a reason.

I guess it is a relief in a way. I got half the things on my mind out.

If nothing changes, I'll continue to do what I do and will learn to respect although I disagree. It's not an easy thing to do, because I'm who I am - headstrong at times.

All in all, it's very interesting to see my own self change because 10 years ago, I wouldn't stand up for myself this way.

I've grown - I just need to learn to be more diplomatic and to control my emotions. 

I'm not as rational, but with the help of the people around me who has guided me and who loved me for who I am...I will survive I guess. :)

Thanks to those who have been there....

Everyone I've talked to...has indirectly gave me a different perspective of the incident and helped me through in different ways.

Thank you...